I mean it, fellow bloggers. Do you really have to be so fascinating and fun to read? Must you entice me with your spectacular photos, touching anecdotes from your daily lives and your sense of humor?
I personally hold you responsible, people, for the distraction you caused me one evening, making my dinner explode in the microwave and causing the mother of all messes. You are also to blame for me being five minutes late for watching my favorite TV show (Hawaii 5-0); thank goodness for Hulu and YouTube so I didn’t miss anything vital.
Blogging’s crept into my everyday life. You sucked in a few friends and family members, who are now blogging too. Blogging’s even gotten into my everyday conversation, I notice. I’m constantly referring to so-and-so blogger told me this or so-and-so blogger said that. Geez!
And besides that…
(Editor pauses as Editor’s mom enters the room)
EDITOR: Hey, Mom!
MOM: Hi. What are you doing there?
EDITOR: Oh, I’m just talking to bloggers all over the world and commenting on their blogs.
MOM: Oh, really. Can I see?
EDITOR: Uh, Mom? Will you wait a minute? I’m right in the middle of some comic complaining here.
MOM: Should you do that? Won’t they be offended?
EDITOR: I don’t think so. They’re nice people with a good sense of humor. Have you ever thought about blogging?
MOM: What would I blog about?
EDITOR: Anything you find interesting. Family life, books, and so on.
MOM: (assumes thoughtful expression) That could be fun. I could tell them about how I read stories to you when you were little and how you got your love of reading from me and your dad.
EDITOR: (nods) That could work.
MOM: And the crab story.
EDITOR: (rolls eyes) Aw, Mom, I’m begging you. PLEASE, not the crab story. (rises from chair and walks into the next room to get a glass of water)
MOM: (grins mischievously, peers cautiously into next room and sits down to quietly type onto keyboard) You see, people, when the Editor was little, we went on this camping trip…
EDITOR: (re-enters room) Hey! What are you doing! Give me back that keyboard! (wrestles with MOM for keyboard)
EDITOR: Mom, look at the screen! What IS that?
(Menacing face with glowing eyes has appeared on the computer screen.)
EDITOR: Mom, run! I think we upset the WordPress people with this and they’re sending a subliminal message! Let’s go! C’mon, it’s time to go to the store anyway.
MOM: Works for me. See ya, folks.
(Attention: This blog post has been brought to you courtesy of the Editor and the Editor’s Mom. If you fall off your chair in fits of uncontrollable laughter, please seek immediate medical assistance. No family members were harmed in the making of this blog post.)