Now that spring is almost over and summer approaches, we’re getting into one of the major wedding seasons of the year. I like seeing loving couples get hitched; I once sat down and figured out that I’ve been to about 25 marriages (well, I’ve got a LOT of cousins, especially on my dad’s side of the family).
Most of them have been traditional American church or country club marriages, but I’ve been to a Polynesian wedding, a Hindu wedding, a British wedding (yes, it took place in England) and a lakeside wedding for a bit of variety. Those four weddings were some of my friends.
Due to my vast experience as a wedding-watcher, I’ve developed my Five Major Rules Of Weddings:
1) Everybody goes insane during a wedding day.
2) Refer to rule #1.
3) Refer to rule #1.
4) In case of nervous bride, administer large amounts of chocolate immediately.
5) In case it’s the bride’s FIRST wedding, double the amount of chocolate you administer to the bride. (Sorry, grooms, you’re on your own.)
Crazy things happen on wedding days. The smallest thing going wrong gets magnified and assumes monumental importance, so all that you can do is stay unruffled and hasten to follow someone’s bidding.
Little kids in the wedding party add their own entertainment. At a cousin’s marriages, the flower girl got a bit impatient, went up to her dad (an usher) and mournfully asked, “Daddy, when are we going to have wedding cake?” (Everybody close enough to hear her erupted in laughter.)
You have to watch the cakes, too. At one sib’s wedding reception, the cake happened to be placed on an outdoor table half in, half out of the sun. Later on, we heard a giant “SPLOOSH!” The icing on the sunny side of the cake had melted and dropped downward to create a puddle at the cake’s base.
At the other sib’s wedding, the cake was a small square, supported by four miniature Greek-style columns sitting atop a larger square cake. Sometime during the reception, two of the columns started sinking and the upper cake tilted slightly to one side (think Leaning Tower of Pisa).
As for the traditional throwing of the bouquet by the bride, I think they should offer a choice of combat gear for anybody who wants to join the group of bouquet catchers. That stuff can get fierce. (Maybe there should be a team of EMTs on standby?)
But in the end, it’s all about being there on that couple’s wedding day and celebrating the start of their new life with them. Whether it’s a young couple starting out or an older couple having a second marriage, it’s a heartwarming time and worthy of a visit. When you have comic mishaps going on that same day, it makes for a great story to tell later on.
Who knows? You may even be inspired to dance! Check out this funny mother and son rocking the reception on a wedding day. (Video credit: Doug Larson.)
Blog readers, got any stories of wedding day comedy you’d care to share?