Wedding comedy and other disaster stories

Wedding couple

In the end, what a wedding is all about. Image courtesy of earl53, Morguefile.

Now that spring is almost over and summer approaches, we’re getting into one of the major wedding seasons of the year. I like seeing loving couples get hitched; I once sat down and figured out that I’ve been to about 25 marriages (well, I’ve got a LOT of cousins, especially on my dad’s side of the family).

Most of them have been traditional American church or country club marriages, but I’ve been to a Polynesian wedding, a Hindu wedding, a British wedding (yes, it took place in England) and a lakeside wedding for a bit of variety. Those four weddings were some of my friends.

Due to my vast experience as a wedding-watcher, I’ve developed my Five Major Rules Of Weddings:

1) Everybody goes insane during a wedding day.

2) Refer to rule #1.

3) Refer to rule #1.

4) In case of nervous bride, administer large amounts of chocolate immediately.

5) In case it’s the bride’s FIRST wedding, double the amount of chocolate you administer to the bride. (Sorry, grooms, you’re on your own.)

Crazy things happen on wedding days. The smallest thing going wrong gets magnified and assumes monumental importance, so all that you can do is stay unruffled and hasten to follow someone’s bidding.

Little kids in the wedding party add their own entertainment. At a cousin’s marriages, the flower girl got a bit impatient, went up to her dad (an usher) and mournfully asked, “Daddy, when are we going to have wedding cake?” (Everybody close enough to hear her erupted in laughter.)

You have to watch the cakes, too. At one sib’s wedding reception, the cake happened to be placed on an outdoor table half in, half out of the sun. Later on, we heard a giant “SPLOOSH!” The icing on the sunny side of the cake had melted and dropped downward to create a puddle at the cake’s base.

At the other sib’s wedding, the cake was a small square, supported by four miniature Greek-style columns sitting atop a larger square cake. Sometime during the reception, two of the columns started sinking and the upper cake tilted slightly to one side (think Leaning Tower of Pisa).

As for the traditional throwing of the bouquet by the bride, I think they should offer a choice of combat gear for anybody who wants to join the group of bouquet catchers. That stuff can get fierce. (Maybe there should be a team of EMTs on standby?)

But in the end, it’s all about being there on that couple’s wedding day and celebrating the start of their new life with them. Whether it’s a young couple starting out or an older couple having a second marriage, it’s a heartwarming time and worthy of a visit. When you have comic mishaps going on that same day, it makes for a great story to tell later on.

Who knows? You may even be inspired to dance! Check out this funny mother and son rocking the reception on a wedding day. (Video credit: Doug Larson.)

Blog readers, got any stories of wedding day comedy you’d care to share?






Filed under Writing

18 responses to “Wedding comedy and other disaster stories

  1. Ha ha. After doing my daughter’s wedding last year, I would agree with your list–we do go insane–especially the mother of the bride and the bride. We each had our meltdown moments…but fortunately that didn’t include our cake. Yea!

  2. I love your list! I once told a friend before her son’s wedding that I hoped it would be “memorable!” During the ceremony, three of the wedding party passed out, the groom went down on one knee, and the EMTs WERE called! It was indeed memorable — but not the kind of memorable I’d wished for her.

  3. Getting married to Garry was my first real wedding and I had to work full time, plan the wedding in NY while living in Boston … then actually get there, with the dress and the flowers and the music and the checks for everything and everyone. I remember saying repeatedly like a mantra: “If I can survive the wedding, marriage will be EASY.”

  4. Weddings do bring out the best (and the worst, sometimes..) Of course, Indian weddings (especially for Punjabis) go on for 5 days or so, so there is ample scope for things to happen. 🙂

  5. Does marrying the Joker count as a funny wedding? If so, I have attended a few of those, two of them my own. Love the Mom! She’s great!

  6. That video was hilarious. But the whole time I was watching it I kept thinking “That boy spends way too much time with his mom.”

  7. After all the craziness surrounding the preparations and the day itself, why do we humans put ourselves through the torture of these elaborate shindigs? Temporary insanity, perhaps?


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