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Top 13 truths about Jane Austen novels

Bath

Roman baths at Bath, England. Image courtesy of hotblack, Morguefile.

It is a truth universally unacknowledged that Jane Austen novels share some unique characters and characteristics, whether her characters are in possession of a good fortune…or not. For your literary entertainment today, here are the top 13 characteristics of Jane Austen novels:

1) In the course of true love, heroines are inevitably drenched by rainstorms and get sick. (Come on…you could at least carry around a parasol!!!)

2) Child characters are mostly seen but not much heard. Unless they’re hiding under tables in libraries and arguing about geography.

3) None of the guys ever took fighting lessons from Gentleman Jackson, even though he was around to provide boxing lessons.

4) When in doubt of a loved one’s affection, go to Bath or London.

5) If you write it, miniseries will come.

6) Always tell your sister everything, unless you’re the quiet type.

7) Genial male characters come in three flavors: teasing, recently perished or street-smart.

8) Female characters come in four flavors: wise, foolish, overworked or overwrought.

9) If thou dost not make a miniseries, thou shalt write a zombie Jane Austen. (Been there…read that…ugh.)

10) Seaside piers cause people to fall off walls.

11) Always believe what the scoundrel tells you, until you learn differently.

12) Characters with a name beginning with “E” tend to get the everlasting happiness.

13) Most importantly…always pick love over money.

Video credit: ilikemovies1988, YouTube

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