Ten foreign quotes ganged up on me…

The beach: My favorite place for philosophy. Image courtesy of rikahi, Morguefile.

In this blog, I’ve often featured quotes from various people. However, I’ve noticed that a lot of these quotes are American. This has made some foreign quotes get upset with me. They want equal time on this worldwide stage I call my blog.

These foreign quotes gave me pouty faces and threatened quote discrimination, and I fear I’m in danger of being dangled from the nearest participle. (NO! NO! NOT THE PARTICIPLE!!! GAAAAAHHHHH!) So for tonight, I’m rescuing myself from deadly dangle danger and giving you my personal top 10 list of best foreign quotes I’ve ever found. Have fun.

France: “No one is exempt from talking nonsense; the mistake is to do it solemnly.” (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne)

India: “There are seven deadly social sins: Politics without principle. Wealth without work. Commerce without morality. Pleasure without conscience. Education without character. Science without humility. Worship without sacrifice.” (Mahatma Ghandi)

Germany: “Without music, life would be a mistake.” (Friedrich Nietzsche)

Italy: “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” (Leonardo da Vinci)

Holland: “Try to put well in practice what you already know, and in so doing, you will in good time, discover the hidden things which you now inquire about. Practice what you know, and it will help to make clear what now you do not know.” (Rembrandt van Rijn)

China: “A book holds a house of gold.” (proverb by an unknown author)

Japan: “Can you imagine all I would do if I could do all I can?” (Sun Tzu)

Chile: “Write what should not be forgotten.” (Isabel Allende)

Portugal: “In adversity is when friendship is proven.” (proverb by an unknown author)

Egypt: “You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” (Naguib Mahfouz)

Waiting for Thoreau

Pond image courtesy of kconnors, Morguefile.

There are times when I read some books and contemplate actually doing what the main character is doing. Take Henry David Thoreau’s Walden, for example. It’s nice to fantasize sometimes about living in a cabin in the woods, with my possessions reduced to their minimum (much easier to tidy things up that way), and contemplate the essential meaning of life while doing simple activities.

Thoreau said, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary.” I have to admire that; he recognized the preciousness of life.

But I don’t think I’d want to say in the woods for too long. I’d miss some of the essential elements of life: chocolate, YouTube, chocolate, Facebook, libraries, chocolate, e-mail, chocolate and oh, yes…did I mention chocolate?

“You’re moving next door? Really? Wow!” Image courtesy of alice10, Morguefile.

ITV takes this concept up a notch in their miniseries “Lost in Austen”. In this show, modern-day ardent Austen fan Amanda Price trades places with Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice. Amanda has the advantage of knowing what’s going on (such as the ball at Netherfield) but things get out of whack and it’s funny watching her trying to adjust to that era.

Although if I really wanted to recreate a book…I’d pick Jules Verne’s Around The World In 80 Days. I’d see fabulous sights, meet interesting people, and take you guys along (virtually speaking) because I’d blog about the whole experience. My camera would faint from sheer exhaustion due to all the photos I’d take. Plus, I’d have to hire at least two traveling companions, get multiple visas and figure out the best (and safest) routes from one city to another. Just let me win the lottery first and I’ll get back to you on that. Oh, well.

Readers, what would be your favorite book to imitate in real life?

Spying and culture and novels, oh my!

Street in Morocco. I wonder if it looked like this during Aline’s era? Image courtesy of clarita, Morguefile.

Ever read a book that is just written so well, you can barely stand to put it down and take a break? You literally have to pry yourself away from the book (here, I’ll loan you my crowbar) and you’re anxious to get back as quickly as possible so you can finish reading.

For me, these books are anything written by Aline Griffith, later the Countess of Romanones. She was a 1940s-era American model who later began working for the Office of Strategic Services (a predecessor to the CIA) as a spy. Aline married a Spanish count, Luis, in 1947 and they had three children. In addition, she was friends with Wallis Warfield Simpson, the Duchess of Windsor.

I love her books because she not only discusses her intriguing life as a spy in Spanish high society, but also gives a lot of cultural information about Spain and Morocco. She’s written a total of seven books but my favorites are The Spy Wore Silk, The Spy Wore Red,  and The Spy Went Dancing. These books are real-life memoirs of her life as a spy and offer, to me, an interesting window on a unique culture.

Some professional reviewers have cast doubt on the authenticity of her books, but she does state in a foreword in one book that the book is somewhat fictionalized. Fair enough, to my mind. Plus, whether you believe what the Countess says — or not — they’re still a good read for when you’re lying on the beach, swinging in your hammock or relaxing out on the deck.

So here’s the mission for this post: Go out, find the books and enjoy! (And by the way, can I have my crowbar back now?)

Whoopie pies and Michael: A day of sheer perfection story

Springtime azaleas! Image courtesy of jjulian912, Morguefile.

Yesterday, my local farmers’ market opened up for the season. The weather was utterly perfect — blue and brilliantly sunny with a chilly breeze that made me glad I was wearing my sweatshirt.

The farmers’ market runs every Saturday from May to October. During the spring and summer, they offer freshly cut bouquets of flowers with colors that perfectly complement one another, as well as artisan ice cream, seafood harvested from a bay only three hours away, baked goods, popcorn and a host of fresh vegetables and fruit. I like apples, so I like to try some of the most interesting varieties such as Honeycrisp and Pink Lady, rather than the usual Golden Delicious and Red Delicious that I find in my store. In the fall, you’ll find pumpkins of every shape, color and size.

There is one stall that I visit every time. The couple that runs it are pleasant people and always ready to chat. Thanks to fellow blogger Russell Deasley and his tasty blog post about whoopie pies yesterday, I had a yen for one of them (chocolate) and munched it while strolling around the other stalls.

There were some changes. Normally, the vendors tend to stay in the same spot, but there was some shifting around this year. But the same people were there with a few new and interesting additions.

There are live musicians to entertain everybody and you’ll usually find cute little toddlers hopping around in time to the music, enjoying themselves without reserve. Sometimes it’s a band playing guitars and fiddles, other times it might be a group of South American musicians playing pan pipes and other traditional instruments.

The other part of “market day” involves a craft fair that sells jewelry, photographic prints, ethnic clothing, items to give your cat or dog some “bling”, or anything else you need for your home. This year, somebody was selling environmentally friendly jewelry made from recycled computer parts — cufflinks made from the alphabetic keys of keyboards or pendants and earrings made from pieces of circuit boards. Pretty attractive, really. Now, that’s the way to recycle your iPad or PC!

I was also taken with one photo in particular. It showed Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” inscription at the Lincoln Memorial in DC with a copy of The Washington Post lying in front of it. The headline on the newspaper is about Barack Obama’s election as President. I liked the juxtaposition between the dream of the past and a symbol of the present reality.

All of this activity takes place close to a lake. After I went through the fair, I took a path that leads near some of the lakeside houses enjoying the brilliant pinks, reds and whites of springtime azaleas, the lavender-colored lilacs and purple wood violets. Everything looked and smelled amazing.

It was one of those mornings where everything fell into place and made for several hours of sheer perfection. And through it all, I’m listening to the music on my portable music player. Michael Bublé’s song below was the perfect accompaniment.

Nora Roberts’ Eve Dallas novels: How close are we to 2058 technology?

New York image courtesy of mconnors, Morguefile.

One of my favorite authors, Nora Roberts, also writes under the name J.D. Robb for her futuristic “In Death” series. These books have a central character called Eve Dallas, a tough, seasoned and beautiful cop who is married to Irish billionaire bad-boy-turned-good-and-seriously-gorgeous Roarke. Eve and Roarke are one of the best literary couples ever created; they are good, strong characters who understand each other on an elemental level and act as each other’s rock in life.

For those who are unfamiliar with the books, I’ll go into the backstory a little. In 2058, the people are still the same, but the gadgets of everyday life have changed somewhat. Cars and buses can fly, and cars may be driven by hand or on automatic pilot. Homes often have AutoChefs (vending machines capable of storing and cooking food), tele-links (similar to video phones), drying tubes rather than towels, voice-operated televisions, gel furniture in living rooms and privacy screens that slide over windows. Holograms may appear as people or take over an entire room. Some people wear wrist units or carry PPCs (Personal Portable Computers) with video capability. Robot droids appear as animals or even in human form, and the cops carry stunners.

Some of this technology I’m seeing already. I’ve seen videos of self-driving cars, but I think the FAA might raise an eyebrow or two about flying cars. Apart from overcoming aerodynamic forces such as weight, thrust, lift and drag, you’d have to keep impatient drivers from banging into each other — messy. But wouldn’t it be great to have one of these for your morning commute? I’m  in. You could just settle in, tell the car where you want to go and read a book or sleep on the way there. Nice.

Holograms could work. 3-D holograms still appear to be in our future, but the 2-D ones aren’t bad. Shades of Star Wars, anyone? Remember Princess Leia’s hologram at the beginning?

And I’d love a PPC. According to the Nora Roberts website, the PPC is similar to a laptop, but I always pictured it as being closer to a smartphone since it has video capability.

Anybody want an AutoChef? Naturally, I’d stock mine with healthy foods (You may giggle, but hey, somebody’s got to do it) and the four basic food groups: chocolate, chocolate, chocolate and chocolate. YEAH, BABY!

Voice-operated technology is here, but I haven’t seen it on televisions yet. Would you have to yell at the TV to turn it on or off during a party, with all the background noise? And what if you had laryngitis one day? Would remote controls still exist?

Hmmmmm. I think we’re on our way to the technology of 2058, but we’ve still got a ways to go yet.

News events and the blogging quandary

Boston image courtesy of Dong L. Zou, Wikimedia Commons.

When a major news event happens, the blogosphere inevitably reacts in different ways. Some bloggers go to the inner self, dissecting what was going through the minds of the perpetrators, the victims, the bystanders. Others reminisce about their lives in that area and the people they know there, sharing the tales they want to tell. Still other bloggers may not say anything at all about the incident on their own blogs and continue blogging as usual, putting up a post as if nothing had happened. I think maybe this last group of bloggers wants to provide a respite from the 24/7 news coverage.

Twice now, a news event has hit when I’m getting ready to put up a blog post. The first time, it was the Newtown school shootings last December. The second time, it was the Boston Marathon bombing. We watch, we’re saddened, and we mourn the waste of lives, especially if it’s children.

I’m never quite sure of blogging etiquette in these situations. Do I say nothing at all in my blog and seem insensitive to the horror and pain of the victims? Or do I pay tribute to the victims and add my voice to the hundreds of thousands of others who are endlessly analyzing what happened and more importantly, why it happened?

In both cases, I went on blogging as normal, but I did make a brief mention of Newtown on one blog post. I had nothing substantial to add to what was already being said by newscasters, experts and fellow bloggers, and I did not want to say anything that would add, even accidentally, to the suffering of the victims and the people who know them.

I did read what other bloggers had said and commented here and there as I saw fit. I hope that was enough.

Blog readers, what are your opinions in this situation? Let’s start a discussion.

When a bad answer makes for a great book

Student image courtesy of taliesin, Morguefile.

Ever been absolutely, completely stumped for an answer on a test? You read over the question and realize you have utterly no idea what the answer is and worse yet, you probably won’t think of one before the test is over. And so you write down something, anything, just to answer the question.

Yes? Been there, done that? Can I see a show of hands here? Then you’ll probably enjoy the two hilarious books I found by Richard Benson. One is called F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers and F for Effort: More of the Very Best Totally Wrong Answers.

In these books, Richard has collected some gems of hilarious wrong answers. The students range in age and the test questions cover different subjects such as math, physics, history, technology, psychology, and English. Here are some of my personal favorites for best answers:

What is a nitrate? 

It is much cheaper than a day rate.

Give a brief explanation of the meaning of the term “hard water.”

Ice.

What is the highest-frequency noise that a human can register?

Mariah Carey.

Explain the concept of homeostatis.

It is when you stay at home all day and don’t go out.

Give an example of a step-up transformer.

An exercise machine.

Describe the term “stakeholder.”

A vampire hunter. Buffy being the most famous.

Name the smaller rivers that run into the Nile.

The Juveniles.

What is having only one spouse called?

Monotony.

But even funnier are the sentences that little kids have written. I’m giving them a break, though, I doubt these misfit sentences were intentional.

The teacher likes to snivel around on a black chair in his office.

I luv J.K. Rolling, she is my heroin.

Every morning dad has a slice of dread before he goes to work.

The most famus of the ten commandments is thou shalt comment on a duckery.

I’ll have to be more careful in future, I think. I wouldn’t want to accidentally comment on a duckery. Blog readers, got a great worst answer for a test you’ve taken?